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Win me some boobs!

July 12th, 2005

Dr Petra

Recently I’ve had several calls from journalists working on stories about how women are more sexually liberated than ever before.

Most journalists take a bit of convincing this isn’t true for all modern women. But if you want proof that we’re second-class sexual citizens look no further than the latest edition of Zoo magazine.

Zoo, a lad’s magazine is running a competition where male readers can win breast implants for their female partners. Its editor Paul Merrill told Press Gazette it’s ‘a serious competition for blokes to show just how much they love their girlfriends…the boyfriend that does the nominating gets £1000 cash as well as some new playthings…the winner will get the chance to show off her new figure in Zoo. Once the scars have healed’

Now I’m sure there are many women who want breast implants. Some may want them to enhance their appearance, some for pleasure, some as reconstructive surgery after disease or injury. I certainly don’t wish to deny those women breast surgery.

But the idea that your partner decides you need a boob job isn’t okay. The idea a magazine makes it into a competition is even worse.

There are many ways to show how much you love your girlfriend, but entering her into a boob job contest isn’t one of them.

I’m sure Zoo will have hundreds of entries. After all how many girls will be convinced that in order to be more desirable, successful or sexual they need surgery? And frankly if your boyfriend has suggested you need to enter the competition you’ll agree since he’s now made you feel crap about your body, so you’ll enter the contest to please him and try to make yourself feel more attractive.

Since Zoo’s other love (aside from showing lady boobs) is showing gory pictures, then perhaps they could combine both their interests and show the winning entrant with her scars? Or better still a step-by-step account of the surgery, scars and recovery. I expect the winning boyfriend would be thrilled to see every aspect of what his girlfriend went through to get him those new ‘playthings’.

Or perhaps women’s magazines might take a leaf out of Zoo’s book. A women’s magazine could run a competition where one lucky reader could win a £4000 penis enlarging operation for her boyfriend.

The editor could be interviewed saying ‘it’s for girls to show just how much they love their blokes with a present which’ll last a lifetime…the girlfriend who does the nominating gets £1000 in cash as well as a new plaything….we anticipate a flood of entries…the winner will get the chance to proudly show off his new figure in _________ Once the scars have healed’

Doesn’t quite work, does it? Of course in reality I’d never advocate it since penile enlargement surgery doesn’t enhance sexual pleasure or technique. But it also doesn’t work because the female version implies a girlfriend owns her partner and his cock and can demand he has it enlarged for her pleasure.

Whilst it’s still acceptable for lads magazines to construct heterosexual relationships as ones where guys own their girls and that girls exist to give guys pleasure we won’t have sexual equality.

And whilst we don’t have that we’ll continue to have crap sex lives.

Because if your guy wants to enter you in a competition where he’ll win you some new boobs it isn’t a turn on or a compliment. And if you think that your partner is showing how much he loves you by requiring you have silicone implants and major surgery then it’s time to take a long, hard look at your relationship.

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