Don’t practice safer sex

Don’t worry about contraception, trust to luck instead

Don’t try and discover what turns your partner on

Don’t let your partner show you what excites them

Don’t bother communicating – guess what your partner wants and only drop hints about your needs

Keep your partner guessing about whether they’ve turned you on

Don’t let your partner keep some responsibility for their orgasm – you should take over and mess it up

Don’t bother looking at your partner’s facial reactions or listening to them, keep going with whatever it is you’re doing – you know you’re right!

Assume the same sexual techniques work with everyone you meet

Don’t bother widening your sexual repertoire

Get into a sexual habit and never deviate from it

Act insulted if your partner suggests any new sexual ideas

Don’t bother trying new things like sex toys/lingerie/positions/trying out sex tips – you know its wrong/bad/or a waste of time

Criticise your partner’s body or sexual technique – if possible use as many abusive or negative phrases to ram your point home.

Compare your partner’s body or technique unfavourably with an ex-partner, or person you’d like to sleep with (e.g. so-and-so was better endowed, more attractive, more adventurous)

Withhold affection to get sex

Only show affection when you want sex

Be rough or clumsy – treat nipples like radio tuning buttons and penises like gear leavers

Be overly gentle – barely touch your partner or hold them in a weak or half-hearted embrace

Regard lubricant as a sign you or your partner is in some way inadequate and refuse to use it

Consider the sort of people who use lubricant, erotica, or sex toys to be in some way deficient in the sex department – after all; surely a good lover doesn’t have to rely on other devices?

Believe your genitals are the only things that can turn your partner on

Think if you bang away long enough something will happen

Think if you lie there long enough your partner will be satisfied eventually

Don’t give your partner any feedback, whether you’re enjoying sex or not

Believe that men (gay or straight) only need to put their penis in a hole for them to become aroused – you need do nothing more once they’re inside you

Let your partner do all the work

Never make the first move – always leave it up to your partner

Believe deep down that women who want sex are really sluts

Don’t bother to find out if your partner wants your fantasies to stay just as fantasies. Use their mention of a threesome as a green light, and set one up immediately

Assume when a partner says ‘no’, what they really mean is ‘yes’

Justify cheating by doing everything bar having penetrative sex

Believe sex only belongs in the bedroom, before sleep

Make out your partner is a prude if they don’t want to go along with any of your suggestions

Imply you’ll leave your partner for someone else if they won’t do what you want

Think good sex equals lots of sex, and forego quality for quantity

Make your partner do things they don’t want to do for fear of losing you

Convince yourself your partner secretly wants to do whatever it is they say they’re not interested in. Pile on the pressure until they cave in

Believe ‘proper sex’ equals penetrative sex

See orgasm as the end goal of every sexual encounter you have

Consider orgasm to be that thing you achieve rather than experience