Yesterday I was alerted to a worrying press release by @MrMMarsh (who has an amazing track record in critiquing commercial surveys). It was for Bounty.com – a parenting website, conducted by OnePoll. It claimed “one in 10 women have tricked a man into getting them pregnant with less than half actually wanting the person they ‘used’ to stick around once the baby was born” and went on to make further allegations about the women who deceive their partner into helping them conceive.

These women, according to this press release, are liars and tricksters, who use their seductive wiles to beguile men into parting with their seed.

Hmmm. Sounds similar to the way we used to accuse women of witchcraft – how apt for Halloween.

And apparently that was the reasoning behind this baffling campaign. According to Bounty (who had the story on their ‘entertainment page’) the poll was just a bit of ‘seasonal fun’. Doubtless they were only thinking of this in purely ‘fun’ terms, playing around the term ‘trick or treat’ with the suggestion women ‘tricked’ men into paternity. But due to a lack of forethought they inadvertently rehearsed other, far more sinister narratives about women’s sexuality that have been used to judge and harm women for centuries.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the campaign backfired. Massively. The outcry on Twitter and elsewhere online was uniformly negative about Bounty, OnePoll, and the ‘women as tricksters’ campaign.

However, that wasn’t before the story hit the headlines with coverage in both the Sun and the Daily Record.

What’s wrong with this poll?
The press release outlines 10 ‘most common ways women ‘trick’ someone’. Since we don’t have the original questions asked we can only assume they were based around these options, which include:
1. You just didn’t talk about it
2. You told them you were on the pill
3. You told them you’d had the injection
4. You weren’t very careful about taking the pill
5. You got them drunk
6. You told them you’d had the coil fitted
7. You put a needle through the condom / wrapper
8. You told them it was the wrong time of the month to conceive
9. You had a one night stand and didn’t make them use contraception
10. You told them you were infertile

These are a very odd mix indeed, and many of them describe common events that are not deliberate attempts at deceiving a partner into getting you pregnant. For example failed contraception (listed in 4) is a fairly common way for pregnancy to occur (although this survey presents it in a far more blaming way). Being confused over when you are fertile (which is one way of interpreting number eight) is also another reason women can find themselves pregnant. Simply not discussing pregnancy is not a definite sign of ‘tricking’ a partner. For many couples the topic of pregnancy is not always paramount unless they are particularly struggling with conception.

Not using contraception on a one night stand isn’t a great idea but it does happen and unless you’re specifically out to try and get pregnant from the encounter again is not a sign of someone deliberately tricking a partner into a pregnancy. It might, however, be a case of someone assuming they can’t get pregnant from a one night stand and discovering that’s a myth.

Knowing you’re fertile and telling someone otherwise (10) is not the same as thinking you may not be fertile and finding yourself pregnant – not unusual as some women will attest.

While options 2,3 and 6 involve lying about contraception use and 7 specifically describes scuppering a contraceptive, the remaining questions could easily happen without a person deciding to maliciously mislead another. Because there is no follow up to these questions there’s no way of knowing the context in which they happened.

From this the press release jumps to talk about how women continue to lie after they’ve got pregnant and talks about trapping ‘an unsuspecting male’.

While the press release does explain the majority of women don’t do this, the overwhelming tone of the story is that women are liars and out to trap men by getting pregnant. That they’re so deceitful they’ll continue to hide the secret that they tricked someone into getting them up the duff.

Why is this survey a problem?
Leaving aside the issues outlined above there are very real reasons why a survey like this is dangerous. Pregnancy and parenthood, while often positive, can also be stressful and difficult. Both can place considerable pressure on relationships. Adding to this any suggestion that women lie about getting pregnant could be devastating to many couples.

We already know that domestic violence is intertwined with paternity disputes (see here , here and here for example), although this is more often over concerns or accusations of whether a child is the biological offspring of a parent. Jealous and/or controlling partners can use accusations over paternity or the circumstances of a pregnancy to justify abuse.

At the very least this survey could put doubt into the minds of partners that they may have been conned into a pregnancy they weren’t ready for or perhaps didn’t want. Or make women feel their partners will distrust them. This might cause new parents to worry at one of the most vulnerable times in their lives. And if couples are already struggling because of distrust over conception this survey could provide unhelpful ammunition and widen the gulf between people.

Obviously it would be remiss to say no woman has ever misled a partner over a pregnancy – either with good intentions or maliciously. But this study was not robust or compassionate enough to explore this issue sensitively. Instead it overemphasises the likelihood of cheating a partner – and implies this is always deliberately malevolent.

As this is such a sensitive issue it would be reassuring to know how participants were treated. Because neither OnePoll nor Bounty have made the process of this study transparent we have no idea how participants felt about being questioned over the circumstances of their conceptions. Could they have felt judged? Embarrassed? Humiliated? Were they left fearful a partner might discover they had not been clear about their motives in getting pregnant? Were some left feeling they were liars when previously they’d simply thought they’d misunderstood their cycle?

In social research you should always be careful not to cause harm or distress, to anticipate what harms you may cause in the questions you ask. On a potentially sensitive topic like this you would usually have many steps in place to ensure participants were supported and helped if the work raised any issues for them. We have no idea if women who took part in this survey were distressed by it (or the subsequent reporting).

It is important to stress that in all probability neither Bounty nor OnePoll considered the issues of domestic violence or relationship harm when putting this work together. I am not arguing here they deliberately aimed to distress women and their partners. However it does indicate the lack of consideration behind this work. Part of good survey work (and all social research) involves thoroughly considering and planning for all potential interpretations, outcomes and consequences of your work – good or bad. It is shocking that nobody at Bounty or OnePoll could apparently see what potential problems this work could create.

Given the poll is problematic on so many levels – and the public reaction to it so negative – you might have expected Bounty and OnePoll to take immediate and apologetic action.

Bounty’s response
Bounty initially shared the story on Twitter, however once they began to receive criticism for it they deleted this message later following it up with the statement “Apologies 2 any1 offended by our recent research story – this was meant as a bit of seasonal fun & is by no means a judgement of anyone”

While they were right to apologise, their reaction that this was ‘fun’ did not indicate a real understanding of WHY people were so offended by their publicity stunt. Nor did it seem sincere given they kept the poll information as a headline feature on their ‘entertainment’ page, despite requests to remove it.

OnePoll’s response
OnePoll’s reaction was as problematic as Bounty’s. If not more so. Rather than directly engaging with the issue or apologising (as Bounty attempted) they contacted me on Twitter saying Hi there – we are the agency who carried out this research, would love to have a chat with you, DM me your number? Thanks!

I suggested they email me a statement, which they duly did:
“As the agency which commissioned this research and distributed the resulting news story, I would like to respond. OnePoll polled 3,000 mothers on behalf of Bounty, looking into the subject of pregnancy. The stats emerged that a small percentage of women admitted to tricking their partner into getting pregnant. I’d like to say that the resulting story in no way glorifies or condones this, in fact Bounty support the very opposite in their quotes. As market research specialists and providers of national news, we would always present the stats, as they are, however controversial. I would like to apologise to anyone who was offended by this piece of research”.

Let’s look at this statement in more depth. The poll apparently was on the ‘subject of pregnancy’. Was this how it was presented to mothers? If so, how may they have felt if then asked to discuss if they had ‘tricked’ their partner into getting them pregnant? We don’t know the answer to this.

The press release and subsequent media coverage may not be seen as ‘glorifying’ misleading a partner, but it does make it seem like a major issue and the press release and subsequent coverage are highly judgemental to women as a result. The stats here (not presented by the company at this time) were arguably always going to be ‘controversial’ because the questions asked were framed in such a way as to create this outcome. As was the press release.

Rather than this being a case of a robust piece of carefully designed and sensitive research into fertility being accurately reported, what we see here is a deliberate strategy to create a shocking headline that will guarantee press coverage. Although it’s important to stress this is a standard approach in PR nowadays, so nothing particularly unique to or sinister about this particular poll.

I found the response from OnePoll odd. At a time when their work was being debated on Twitter they decided to email me a statement. I don’t know why. I responded:
“Thanks. I think you would be better of making these statements on Twitter and taking responsibility there. Ethically I think this was not a good approach and I hope given the criticism you’re noting from researchers, PR and other marketing companies – as well as from parents – that you will work to deliver more thoughtful work in the future.
Since you’re stating you think it’s important to put out the stats ‘however controversial’ you should also make these available via your site now so people can see the questions you asked, the way you recruited your participants and the data you collected.
Perhaps as Bounty have had the grace to apologise you may also want to make it clear it was not a serious piece of research rather than trying to make it look otherwise.
Many people were offended by the research and also your role in it. I think it best you try and repair that damage now on Twitter, on your website and through your future conduct”.

I followed this with a message on Twitter that I had been in discussion with OnePoll and advised them to apologise, justify the survey and make their data publicly accessible (as they claimed in the email is standard practice).

No response came to my email or to anyone’s messages on Twitter. At this time OnePoll have not apologised for nor justified this work on Twitter or their website. Nor have they made the data from this poll publicly available despite saying it was standard practice. They have, however, celebrated the news coverage of this story on their website.

If either Bounty or OnePoll genuinely were concerned over running this survey or the message it portrays their reaction would have been different. It suggests neither company are particularly concerned but simply want criticism to go away. Perhaps other people working in PR or communications could pick up on how this issue has been handled and what impact it could have on brand Bounty or the reputation of OnePoll.

What you can do?
Judging by responses on Twitter today, plenty of people have been upset by this survey and the actions of both OnePoll and Bounty. If you feel this has not been adequately dealt with you can take further action.

For Bounty you can write to their advertisers – all shown on their website asking them if they are comfortable placing their adverts with a parenting organisation who approve publicity stunts that present women as liars. And who then apparently ignore the distress caused to parents and the public. You may also want to do this more publicly engaging Bounty’s sponsors on Twitter, Facebook or other social networks where they may have a presence. If you belong to Bounty (or have purchased their products/services) you may consider whether you wish to continue this relationship.

OnePoll can be reported to the Market Research Society who oversee correct conduct and ethical practice in commercial social research. An outline of their professional standards can be found here, while details of how to make a complaint can be found here.

Everyone is accountable here, everyone signed this work off and approved it at all stages. From coming up with the idea, through to asking women about their experiences, through to writing the press release and subsequent submission to the media.

There were plenty of steps when SOMEONE could have noted there was a major problem and put a stop to this work. Nobody did. Everyone involved needs to take responsibility for this.

Commercial companies and market research ones need to learn they can’t misuse surveys to promote products, particularly if they could cause harm or mislead people. The same social networks they use to promote will be used to hold them accountable and expose poor practice. Creating commercial campaigns that could harm or distress cannot be explained away as ‘seasonal fun’. Here’s hoping both Bounty and OnePoll have the courage and decency to make amends for this sorry tale.

What made me start blogging?
Five years ago I sat down on a dark November evening and wrote my very first blog entry. It was a bit ranty. I’d been misquoted by a journalist and was anxious it would get me into hot water (again).

I didn’t have a game plan when I started blogging. My partner (who’s way more tech savvy than I am) thought it might be a good way of sharing ideas I was struggling to convey via the mainstream media (I was writing several advice columns in magazines at the time, as well as hosting a regular radio phone in for BBC Five Live).

I approached the blog as a form of therapy. I wanted to work with the media but was getting a lot of stick for it professionally (I’m an academic as well as a sex educator). Having a place to blog would allow me to correct any errors in reporting and disclose bad journalism. I even hoped it it might even let me bring evidence into sex/relationships reporting – and show it was possible to do so without things becoming worthy or dull.

One thing I felt sure of early on was this blog was something I enjoyed writing, but I wanted to be useful, and most importantly to deliver things about sex, relationships, science and journalism that readers wanted to know about. Which is why the blog has always been shaped by things you’ve asked for.

Readers make this blog (or “why don’t you have comments?”)
Last summer I asked regular readers to give me feedback on this blog and got some very helpful responses. It’s taken me a while to implement some of these, but I have now upgraded the blog to include the things you asked for – photos and images to liven things up, a better blogroll, summaries at the start of most entries so you can decide if you wish to read on. And categories. Something I didn’ think about five years ago and really wish I had. I’m now in the process of going back through all the 800+ posts and adding categories to them, which I hope will make this blog a lot more useful to you.

The one thing this blog doesn’t have is comments. I did start off having them, but encountered several problems. As I was offering advice within columns and websites elsewhere I hadn’t planned to also answer problems on this blog. However, not all readers understood this so I frequently found requests for advice on anything from infidelity to penis size included in discussions about blogs relating to research design or journalism ethics. This sometimes led to some readers mocking those asking for advice, which of course is completely unacceptable for me as an educator.

Moreover, I’ve always blogged openly – never behind a pseudonym. I work within the community on sex/relationships projects and educational activities (in the UK and internationally). This meant I was very accessible, and felt vulnerable when those whose comments were deleted or not posted, made very personal threats.

I found moderating the comments was time consuming and took me away from other educational activities which I felt were more worthwhile. So I decided to remove the comments option. When I’ve asked readers if they want them back the general response is ‘no’. That’s mostly from people who feel the blog’s a safe space to get information which they can use as they wish elsewhere.

Of course I strongly welcome respectful email feedback and am always happy to add information or correct errors within the blog. You’re always welcome to start discussions on other forums or your own blog about issues raised here. For now I’ve no plans to reinstate comments, but since I’m occasionally asked why I don’t have them I thought this was a good a time as any to clarify the issue.

Achievements so far
Having read back to 2004 I’m pretty pleased with this little blog. It’s nice to see it’s grown into a resource that people trust and enjoy reading.

The things I’m most proud to have written are activist blogs that highlight medicalisation, exploitation and abuse. These include the debates around female sexual dysfunction, questioning high street stores stocking ‘herbal’ erectile dysfunction drugs (not approved by the FDA), exposing the Advanced Medical Institute’s aggressive sales technique for men affected by premature ejaculation, or highlighting misleading media coverage of the availability of Viagra on the high street.

I initially planned to use the blog to set right bad sex coverage in the media (or occasions where I’d been misquoted). This has been a theme within the blog although I think it’s become more focused over time (although not necessarily less ranty than my very first post). I can’t say whether it’s made much difference to journalists, and I hope it’s not put people off working with the media. I’ve found it helpful to describe poor practice – not least because the general trend for ‘experts’ working with the media is to act grateful for any exposure, not publicly discuss poor experiences or document bad practice. Gems for me include an expose of GMTV sending a cab to my home at 6am on the off chance I might wake up and come to their studio. Or how a TV show wanted to discuss female sexual confidence without mentioning genitals or masturbation. Or some rather nasty experiences with snotty TV producers just after I’d had a baby. Not to mention the hilarious case of the science journalist who really took a dislike to me (and colleagues). Oh, and let’s not forget the journalist who wanted me to recommend them an ‘unethical psychologist’ .

Of course, the past five years have not been spent simply slagging off journalists. No. Sometimes I’ve also turned my gaze to bad science too. Where it’s been depressing to report on a carnival of studies which seem to set us back sexually. Studies complaining women orgasm too easily, or there’s a ‘clitorocentric conspiracy’ against the vagina, how sex with a partner is 400% better than any other kind of sex you might have, and you can tell whether a woman has vaginal orgasms by her walk.

Let’s not forget my other bugbears. The fake formula and shonky surveys and my goodness this blog’s a treasure chest for those. And if I’m not being irritated by that, then there’s always the problem of psychologists talking about celebrities, or the general ethical issues raised by Big Brother for me to moan about.

Of course, it’s not all been bad news. Anyone would think this blog is only about gripes and grumbles. I’ve always wanted to showcase a variety of sexual experiences within this blog and not just think about sex just for a Western audience. I’ll continue to discuss issues relating to sex and seniors; teenagers; disability; transsexuality; lesbian, gay and bi issues; open relationships; BDSM; sexual health; contraception; prostitution; pornography; reproductive health; pleasure; desire; asexuality; dating; psychosexual problems; showcasing great sex pioneers; talking about safer sex; and as many other topics as I can find for you to read about.

Where to next?
Unlike five years ago, I’m now thinking strategically about this blog – who it’s for, what it does, and seeking to find ways to assess any impact it may have. I’ve noticed over the years it sometimes deviates into areas that interest me, but may not appeal to all readers. So my aim is to ensure the focus of the blog remains around the core things you’re most interested in when you visit – sex, science, and media.

I’m currently involved in overhauling the site so in the new year I hope to have far more open access materials available for you – relationships and sex guides, information about sexual and reproductive health, more advice and links to sources of help, along with practical information for journalists, healthcare professionals, parents, teens and teachers.

I’ve been asked by many readers for more information about how to become an agony aunt/media sex educator, so I’ll be blogging about this – as well as how to write a sex blog – in the not too distant future.

I’ll also be making use of twitter soon, as sometimes I blog about issues people need to hear about fast (particularly developments in science/health), so hopefully that will make messages more accessible. I’ll let you know once I’ve sorted it.

Obviously I’d like to hear what you’d like to see. How would you like this blog to develop over the next year (or five!). Are there any particular things you’d like to see more/less of? Topics you want covered? People you’d like me to interview for the ‘quickies’ section of the blog? Campaigns you want covered? Let me know what your vision is for this blog.

So, happy fifth birthday blog. Big birthday kisses to those of you who’ve been with me from the beginning. For those of you who’ve only recently found this blog I hope you like it enough to stick around for the next half decade. I notice one of my favourite other blogs Mind Hacks has also celebrated it’s fifth birthday too, so congratulations to them.

Time to blow out the candles and make a wish. Of course, I can’t tell you what it is. You’ll have to come back in five years to find out if it’s come true.