A study by ‘Teenage Research Unlimited’ in the US has revealed staggeringly high levels of physical and sexual abuse amongst teenagers.
Teenagers aged between 13-18 were asked to discuss their experiences of dating and relationships. Nearly half knew friends who’d had some form of dating abuse – including being kicked, slapped, choked, punched or physically hurt in some other way by a partner. One in five girls reported boyfriends had threatened violence when they tried to break up with them, and 26% of female respondents had endured ‘repeated verbal abuse’ from their partner.
Over 80% of respondents felt relationship violence was a ‘serious concern’ for teens, and 73% agreed they would get help from a friend if they felt they were at risk. However, of the teens that had experienced physical, sexual or verbal violence, only 33% had reported what was going on.
In a response to these findings, Liz Claiborne’s Education Development Centre in the US will be running specialised programmes to tackle teen violence.
Sadly these results are not new. They’re part of a long running series of global studies that show depressingly high levels of dating-related violence. Teenage girls in particular may be at risk from boyfriends coercing them into sexual situations, peer pressure to ‘have a boyfriend’ (making it difficult to exit a relationship), and a lack of confidence to assert themselves. Boys are often under pressure to act out masculinity in ways that can be destructive to both them and their partners, and lesbian and gay teens are often overlooked but also report high levels of sexual and physical abuse.
In many parts of the world where women are in subservient positions, often a culture of blame exists where teenage girls are held responsible when they’re sexually abused. In many cultures domestic violence of women and girls is rife. Whilst programmes exist to help adult women or educate our adult populations, the abuse of teenagers is either overlooked or dismissed by adults as ‘attention seeking’ or ‘learning about relationships’. Teenage dating abuse is neither.
Since sex education is often inadequate or focuses on contraception, reproduction and safer sex, critical issues like confidence, assertiveness and the right to an abuse-free relationship are overlooked.
As an agony aunt, I get countless letters from teenagers (mainly girls) telling me of partners who persistently put them down, call them names, or use threats and blackmail to keep a relationship going. Other letters from girls as young as 11 have detailed boyfriends who’ve used physical violence. Sexual coercion is common – threats often covered by seemingly plausible requests ‘if you loved me you’d do it’, ‘if you were grown up you’d do it’, or ‘If you don’t do it I’ll leave you’.
Although boys can be at risk, globally within relationships girls are more likely to be sexually coerced. This poses risks about unwanted pregnancies and STIs, psychological damage caused by physical and emotional abuse, and future relationship problems. After all if you’re relationship model as a teenager was one where you were exploited and you couldn’t speak up – what will your adult relationships be like? If you exploited your partners through your teens, will you stop with the emotional blackmail, verbal or physical abuse when you’re older?
We need to work with parents, schools, charities, and educational, youth and religious groups to ensure relationship teaching includes confidence, assertiveness and an understanding of what relationships should be like. This means teaching children about their self worth and body confidence from a young age. And when they reach their teenage years to help them understand that a positive ‘grown up’ relationship isn’t one where you feel afraid, coerced or devalued. It isn’t where someone hurts you physically or verbally, or where they use emotional blackmail to get what they want.
Positive relationships are violence free, respectful, and ultimately are where you can express yourself without fear.
We need to teach these skills alongside safer sex messages, to prevent more teenagers being at risk.
Dangers of teen dating
A study by ‘Teenage Research Unlimited’ in the US has revealed staggeringly high levels of physical and sexual abuse amongst teenagers.
Teenagers aged between 13-18 were asked to discuss their experiences of dating and relationships. Nearly half knew friends who’d had some form of dating abuse – including being kicked, slapped, choked, punched or physically hurt in some other way by a partner. One in five girls reported boyfriends had threatened violence when they tried to break up with them, and 26% of female respondents had endured ‘repeated verbal abuse’ from their partner.
Over 80% of respondents felt relationship violence was a ‘serious concern’ for teens, and 73% agreed they would get help from a friend if they felt they were at risk. However, of the teens that had experienced physical, sexual or verbal violence, only 33% had reported what was going on.
In a response to these findings, Liz Claiborne’s Education Development Centre in the US will be running specialised programmes to tackle teen violence.
Sadly these results are not new. They’re part of a long running series of global studies that show depressingly high levels of dating-related violence. Teenage girls in particular may be at risk from boyfriends coercing them into sexual situations, peer pressure to ‘have a boyfriend’ (making it difficult to exit a relationship), and a lack of confidence to assert themselves. Boys are often under pressure to act out masculinity in ways that can be destructive to both them and their partners, and lesbian and gay teens are often overlooked but also report high levels of sexual and physical abuse.
In many parts of the world where women are in subservient positions, often a culture of blame exists where teenage girls are held responsible when they’re sexually abused. In many cultures domestic violence of women and girls is rife. Whilst programmes exist to help adult women or educate our adult populations, the abuse of teenagers is either overlooked or dismissed by adults as ‘attention seeking’ or ‘learning about relationships’. Teenage dating abuse is neither.
Since sex education is often inadequate or focuses on contraception, reproduction and safer sex, critical issues like confidence, assertiveness and the right to an abuse-free relationship are overlooked.
As an agony aunt, I get countless letters from teenagers (mainly girls) telling me of partners who persistently put them down, call them names, or use threats and blackmail to keep a relationship going. Other letters from girls as young as 11 have detailed boyfriends who’ve used physical violence. Sexual coercion is common – threats often covered by seemingly plausible requests ‘if you loved me you’d do it’, ‘if you were grown up you’d do it’, or ‘If you don’t do it I’ll leave you’.
Although boys can be at risk, globally within relationships girls are more likely to be sexually coerced. This poses risks about unwanted pregnancies and STIs, psychological damage caused by physical and emotional abuse, and future relationship problems. After all if you’re relationship model as a teenager was one where you were exploited and you couldn’t speak up – what will your adult relationships be like? If you exploited your partners through your teens, will you stop with the emotional blackmail, verbal or physical abuse when you’re older?
We need to work with parents, schools, charities, and educational, youth and religious groups to ensure relationship teaching includes confidence, assertiveness and an understanding of what relationships should be like. This means teaching children about their self worth and body confidence from a young age. And when they reach their teenage years to help them understand that a positive ‘grown up’ relationship isn’t one where you feel afraid, coerced or devalued. It isn’t where someone hurts you physically or verbally, or where they use emotional blackmail to get what they want.
Positive relationships are violence free, respectful, and ultimately are where you can express yourself without fear.
We need to teach these skills alongside safer sex messages, to prevent more teenagers being at risk.
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