Skip to content

I’ll have what she’s having….

October 14th, 2005

Dr Petra

In today’s Sun newspaper there’s an astonishing report of a man who claims to have experienced his wife’s orgasm when under hypnosis.

Writer Simeon de la Torre participated in an experiment for a magazine where he underwent hypnotherapy to see if he could experience pregnancy and childbirth. The hypnotherapist took him back to the point of conception to see if he could experience orgasm like his wife Claire. Obviously this assumes that his wife’s orgasm coincided with the moment of conception, but I digress, Simeon claimed he DID climax like his wife – “a glorious, glowing, female orgasm”. He added “waves of euphoria radiated over me from the pit of my stomach to my toes as a gleeful smile spread across my face. It was longer, gentler and distinctively different to the juddering knee tremblers I usually have. And, unfortunately chaps, it was better. Now I want to do it again”.

I think I’ll have to be a bit of a killjoy here and suggest it’s unlikely he did experience his wife’s orgasm. What is obvious is hypnosis allowed Simeon to have a different kind of orgasm than usual. Under hypnosis he was more relaxed, his breathing would be slower and deeper, and he would be able to let go of the usual patterns and routines of sex. It could well be those conditions that led to a different orgasm. It may be that any of us can experience an orgasm that feels like someone else’s if we relax more and allow ourselves to really focus on the sensations of arousal.

Alternatively there are ways you can experience an orgasm like your partner – or at least share with your partner what your orgasm feels like. And it doesn’t involve a hypnotherapist swinging a watch in front of your face and counting backwards.

Try this exercise – share your answers to the following questions with each other….
[you can also do this exercise without a partner or if you’re single]

-If your orgasm was a colour, taste or smell, what would it be?
-What piece of music, art or poetry best describes your orgasm?
-If your orgasm was an animal, what would it be?
-Is there any part of nature that resembles your orgasm? (for example a dramatic sunset, gentle sunrise or waves on the shore?)
-Where do you usually feel your orgasm – your genitals, stomach, toes, tip of your head?
-How do you feel before, during and after your orgasm – list as many words as you can think of to describe your physical and psychological reactions?
-What does orgasm mean to you? Is it a physical release, a spiritual experience, a means of connecting with your partner? Tell your partner all the things orgasm means.

Of course not all orgasms feel the same, and it might be worth repeating this exercise to account for orgasms that happen during your sleep, when you masturbate, or during sex with a partner.

Some people find when thinking about their orgasm that it becomes more spiritually or emotionally significant, others describe the sensations and feelings before they climax as being more pleasurable or meaningful.

Once you start to think about orgasm and what it means, you may find it easier to share with a partner – which can help you find out more about each other, and also communicate your desires. You can do this through describing your feelings and responses – or showing your partner what you like.

Who knows, they may even end up having an orgasm just like yours….

Comments are closed.