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June 29th, 2005

Dr Petra

Recently I was called by a radio phone-in and asked to come on to talk about ‘better sex’. Show sounded good and I said yes. Then they mention their other guest. It’s ____________, someone I loathe.

My reasons for disliking _______________ are that they’re not really qualified to talk about sex, but somehow or other they don’t recognise this limitation. I have a dilemma. Do I go on the show, appearing alongside ____________ and probably have to listen to them get lots of things wrong? If they’re inaccurate how can I correct them without seeming like a harpy?

I’m pretty sure ___________ can’t stand me either, so what happens if we start arguing? Perhaps a couple of sexperts cat fighting would make great radio. But the downside is in putting someone down for not reaching your ethical or academic standards isn’t an easy thing to carry off. I run the risk of sounding puffed up and pompous and ___________ has written some sex books which in media land always sounds like they’re more qualified (even when they aren’t).

Do I play the prima donna, say I can’t do it and explain I won’t share airspace with that airhead? That’s also probably not going to make me look good and it guarantees _____________ a space to give their rubbish sex advice uninterrupted.

I agree to go on the show. The night before I sleep badly, waking up wishing I’d agreed not to do the programme. The day of the show I try and think of a last minute excuse to get me out of it but I don’t like letting people down.

The car arrives to take me to the studio and by the time I arrive I’m sick at the thought of having to meet and greet _____________ and worse still debate them.

The producer shows me to the studio and apologises that I’ll have to do the programme on my own. ____________ has dropped out at the last minute.

Perhaps they felt the same way about me.

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